Privacy

I've been reading other peoples blogs and it sounds like there are quite a few of you who are opening up all of a sudden and I think that is fabulous! This is the first time in my life I have been open and honest with everyone I know basically and I have never been more happy. Its weird how it works. For instance, in the past, I would only tell people what I thought they wanted to hear so they would like me (guy or girl) but that really begins to get exhausting. Plus no one ever gets to know the real you, so you never really know if someone actually likes you because you are not BEING you. hm. That was a lot of "you"s. Anyway, contrary to popular belief, I do not enjoy hurting people. I would choose being hurt physically over being hurt emotionally any day. Apparently I have hurt some people in my day emotionally and it would KILL me in the past. I had to go through conseling at one point because I couldn't figure out how to be happy while making someone else happy. Eventually I started putting myself first. Some see this as being selfish but I see it more as being responsible. I am more aware of how I truly feel about things and I don't second guess myself nearly as much. I have more confidence because I have been honest with myself and others. So at this rate, if I tried my best to explain situations and people still decide to hate me or whatever, then yes- I am sad, but not enough to let it destroy me. I read someone else's blog and someone commented about me being a bitch. Heh. ya. It made me laugh. Gossip is a very entertaining thing. People hear half truths and make up the rest in their head or decide thats all there is to the story and then ASSUME its the truth. everyone knows what happens when you assume... This is getting long and boring and staying too serious. Just wanted to thank others for opening up more, and that I would truly appreciate it if they would still talk to me even though I am getting married. I didn't DIE! I am completely out of the loop of whats going on with people and I can't do anything about it (besides call off the engagement, but then I would not be putting myself first) and being the selfish person that I am, I decided its OK to be happy despite what other people are going through. And thats its ok to be sad with them but not to make it be your complete problem as well.