so ya, and ya.

Cody just had a birthday and it was a lot of fun to watch him smear chocolate frosting all over his face. Well- more disgusting than fun, but still fun none the less. We had a BBQ at my dad's house first since his birthday is the same day as Cody's then we went to Brian's parents' house to have Cake and ice cream with both families since our house is too small. Good times, good times

The last blog was a bit of ranting there and I didn't realize anyone even really read it still so now I kind of feel a little silly for getting angry on an online blog. Plus after I read it again it sounds critical of others. I don't mean to be. Everyone is in different situations for different reasons and we rarely know the whole story. It's easy to pass judgment on others yet frustrating when others do the same to us. Like I said, the people I was referring to don't even know about this blog but the fact that I'm annoyed with other peoples' decision is really just not ok. It's none of my business. Anyone that knew me well before I got married knew about my fear OF marriage. It seemed to me at the time that everyone was doomed to split up and no one tried very hard to stay together anymore. I'm not really sure where the fear of my own divorce stemmed from, seeing as my parents have been together for 32 years now. I just didn't want to get into a committed relationship and put all my heart into loving this other person just to have them turn around and decide I'm no longer good enough for them. When I was engaged I know a few people were really shocked. It used to be that I wouldn't even talk to other people about the idea of marriage simply because it scared me too much. So basically it just makes me sad for these people that I care about since they can't figure out what to do to save their marriages and be happier.
Now I'm married and happier than ever. I still have anxiety attacks now and then but not as much as I used to and I've even been able to stop taking meds for it. My doctor thought it would be something I would need to be medicated for for the rest of my life. It's pretty exciting that I'm un-medicated. Brian and I are doing well. I've learned that when he's stressed and needs to unwind he plays he warcraft game for 6 hours or so and it's nothing personal to me. I don't think. If I'm stressed at the same time as him then I don't really have a lot of options because I'm the one responsible for Cody. So as long as only one of us are stressed at a time, then we are great! :) Otherwise I generally break down. but whatever. It's nothing like it used to be. I'm happy to be in such a great marriage and know that I have a spouse that cares about me as much as I care about him. I wasn't sure if it were possible but it is and I'm so happy for that. I'll guess I'll end on that note.