mood swings

I'm not totally sure why I go off on those tangents like that. Sometimes I think I'm bi-polar. One day I'll wake up with a knot in my stomach and feel like the air is pressing down on me and like I am the most useless worthless person that ever lived, and then a few days later I'll feel perky and happy with hardly a care in the world. When I read back on my old journal entries or even these blogs I realize I sound over-dramatic but the feelings are real. I've been un-medicated since a few months before Cody was born and I've handled my anxiety surprisingly well but sometimes I wonder if I should try it again. I hate the thought of being on meds the rest of my life because it makes me feel like I'm weak and can't handle life as well as everyone else, but someone explained to me like having a broken bone. Except instead of getting a cast to help heal your bone, you get meds to help the brain release the right kinds of chemicals. Even though it seems logical at times, I can't help feeling less than others while medicated.
Anyway, today is a lot better. I feel happy and feel like I am getting things done. Poor Cody keeps getting more and more sick. His cough sounds terrible. I'm just hoping it won't turn into croup again.
Well- I guess I just wanted to say that I realize how over-dramatic and teenage-ish I sound when I complain the way I do in my previous blogs, but it helps me sort things out. :)