TODAY

I went to work today. There were tons of technical difficulties this morning. I left work at 2:30pm. Went grocery shopping with my sister in law and her baby. We once again realized we are both sort of air-heads. I think it only happens when we are together though. Separated, we are fine. Together? Not so good. Then I came home. actually I cruised by my husbands work site to see if I could get a glimpe of him, but alas, it was to no avail. I feel like a stalker when I do that but its ok if you are married to the person, right? My oldest sister used to drive my her x-bf's houses. I was with her once or twice. Thats totally weird. but not to your own spouse, right? Anyway, we got some movies I am excited to see. Poisiden, a dancing one, and a violent one. I don't remember the names. heh. Oh, the Sentinel. ya. Woo! So thats my excitement for the day. I will report again when something equally exciting happens.

Dentists

I am going to have a root canal done and I just can't wait! I love having drills and strange instruments enter my mouth while I blindly sit back and gag on my own spit and other strange particles and liquids. Then I get to leave the wonderful office broke and drooling while the side of my face droops and my tounge takes on its own life. *sigh* what could be better? Ohh I know. Going back for the next appointment! yippeee!

BABIES

I am with Tammy Tinkle while she is watching a sweet little bundle of poop. Right when I think that I might want to have kids, I deal with an 18 month old cranky little boy. ARG... Plus I have to read about how painful it is in Glamour Magazine. Reliable source I know. The pain measurement was right up there with getting genital warts removed. SICK. I know you all wanted to know that. heh heh. Perhaps someday I will experience the strange feeling of something growing inside my gut other than air pockets and such. It will most likely have to be accidental though. And don't even tell me you think a fetus is cute. Amazing, perhaps, weird, definetly, but cute? no.

Turbo Jam

This is the girl that does turbo jam. She has her own blog. weird, huh? Its weird to think of people on work out videos as real people I guess. http://chalenejohnson.blogspot.com/

The only problem is that we have TV in the bedroom and there's not enough room to work out in the bedroom and so if anyone has room in their home to do this with me, well then.... you should let me. :) Who wouldn't want to look like her?! Seriously. It's a fun video.

HAPpy... hapPY...

I need to be more positive. I enjoy being married. In fact, I've never been happier in my life. So whats my problem? I appreciate the advice I got from my last entry. I think I will have to use a little money on some of those things even if it's not something you can invest in to profit from later. I can profit from things in different ways than making money off things. So yes, I think I will have to talk to my husband (that word is still weird sometimes) about some things that I would like to purchase. We'll see how it goes.
So... Anyone want to do Turbo Jam with me? Its a lot fun but I have a better chance of doing that when someone else does it with me. :)

married life

Things have seemed to change now that I am married. I went to Dave's birthday party and it was the first time I saw some of my friends for awhile. It almost felt akward. It's like people don't want to have anything to do with you if you are not single anymore. I don't know why. SOMEone even said they didn't bother transfering my phone number into their new phone is because I'm not worth calling anymore. Thats when I say, "oh ya?! well screw YOU!" ok so I didn't really say that this time, but I should have. I've been so angry lately but I can't figure out why. I think part of it has to do with money. I hate not being able to just go do stuff that I want to do. Plus I don't excercise anymore. I miss dancing and rock climbing. Those were some of my absolute favorite things to do, but now thats over. I don't see how I will ever go back to school again. Any money we get will go towards buying a new house to fix up and sell to make more money, but by that time we will probably have kids that will be sucking up any money and then I REALLY won't ever have my own life again. AHHH!!! Is it wrong to be so selfish to not want kids so that you can progress in life?? Once I have kids I'm afraid my life will be pretty much done. Then I will just be a mom. I know mom's are important obviously, but they never have their own life back again. They never get to enjoy their own hobbies or interests unless it invloves changing diapers and diciplining bad children. I've gotta stop I'm getting depressed just thinking about it.

Oooh la la

I just had my second bridal shower. heh. It was fun. Although I must say I was shocked to see what my prior Relief Society President got me. heavens heavens.... and My good friend She-Ra threw the party and did an absolutely fabulous job. It was so fun. I got to see them make a groom out of gum. It was great. Kind of sick- but great. Especially when mantis (not the tiller) tried to clap her hands. good times good times....

What was THAT?

I've been reading everyone's blogs today and they are really deep and moving and I am here writing about public bathrooms. Well, thats me for ya. What can I say?
Last night I did something to someone that TOTALLY grossed them out. Their reaction was SO funny. I justified doing it because its nothing compared to what they said they are going to do to me once we're married. Ever heard of 'Dutch Oven'? Its sick, but apparently its an Allred tradition. Don't ask me, I didn't know this before I said yes. If you've never heard of it, its wear you trap someones head under the sheets and then fart. SICK. So I was sitting on someones lap while we were looking up stuff on the computer and I stop what I'm doing, look at him, and say "hey so-&-so" and then I guess I had a weird look on my face because I was concentrating and he's just staring at me wondering what I am doing and then I fart on him. HAHAHAHA!!!! He said he felt like his leg was violated. He's lucky it was only a little one that doesn't even smell. He wouldn't come near me for the rest of the night. It was so funny. He thought I would be embarrassed if he told people. Is something wrong with me for not caring and being so vile? I understand its not lady-like, but niether are a lot of things I do unfortunately. My mom would be so ashamed..... (but my dad would be proud haha )

ADDRESSES

ok... here's the deal. If you want an invitation to my wedding, I need your address. I am trying to figure out exactly how many as well. If I don't have your name on my list, tell me to put it on! perhaps I will post who I have thought of thus far on my next one. so... call me or e-mail me pronto. thanks!

thanks JRA for sending me yours. seeing as no one else feels the need ;)

Privacy

I've been reading other peoples blogs and it sounds like there are quite a few of you who are opening up all of a sudden and I think that is fabulous! This is the first time in my life I have been open and honest with everyone I know basically and I have never been more happy. Its weird how it works. For instance, in the past, I would only tell people what I thought they wanted to hear so they would like me (guy or girl) but that really begins to get exhausting. Plus no one ever gets to know the real you, so you never really know if someone actually likes you because you are not BEING you. hm. That was a lot of "you"s. Anyway, contrary to popular belief, I do not enjoy hurting people. I would choose being hurt physically over being hurt emotionally any day. Apparently I have hurt some people in my day emotionally and it would KILL me in the past. I had to go through conseling at one point because I couldn't figure out how to be happy while making someone else happy. Eventually I started putting myself first. Some see this as being selfish but I see it more as being responsible. I am more aware of how I truly feel about things and I don't second guess myself nearly as much. I have more confidence because I have been honest with myself and others. So at this rate, if I tried my best to explain situations and people still decide to hate me or whatever, then yes- I am sad, but not enough to let it destroy me. I read someone else's blog and someone commented about me being a bitch. Heh. ya. It made me laugh. Gossip is a very entertaining thing. People hear half truths and make up the rest in their head or decide thats all there is to the story and then ASSUME its the truth. everyone knows what happens when you assume... This is getting long and boring and staying too serious. Just wanted to thank others for opening up more, and that I would truly appreciate it if they would still talk to me even though I am getting married. I didn't DIE! I am completely out of the loop of whats going on with people and I can't do anything about it (besides call off the engagement, but then I would not be putting myself first) and being the selfish person that I am, I decided its OK to be happy despite what other people are going through. And thats its ok to be sad with them but not to make it be your complete problem as well.

public bathrooms

Sooo... I don't know if they do this in the boys bathroom or just the girls.

anyway, I don't understand why the bathroom floor is wet in the stalls, and not by the sinks so much. I tell myself its from the janitors mopping and it just takes longer to dry in that area, but if thats the case, how is there still TP on the floor mixed in with the wet muddy mess? It was gross. If its NOT water, then obviously its another form of liquid, but then another question arises. How do girls miss?! You sit-n-go. Simple as that. No special skill required. Most even come with toilet seat cover things so you don't have to meet the germs of the last person's bum. I guess thats all. Just wondering if anyone knew what that was all about. the wet floors.

hooray

It sounds like everyone knows my reason for being so happy. :) I am getting married in the Manti temple September 30. It was going to be November, but we figured why wait? Everything seems to be falling in place quite well now. I've never been so happy that its made me cry before. I certainly have cried for other reasons, but this is different then anything I've ever felt. Kinda weird. A few of our mutual friends are not happy at all for us so thats sad, but I am happy to have the support of the rest of you. If you read this and want an invitation, it would be absolutely delightful if you could e-mail me your address. Its spazgirl24@hotmail.com

happy happy joy joy

Things right now seem to be going SO well I can hardly believe it. I almost feel guilty for being so happy because there are many people I know who are far from feeling happy. I feel like I'm on cloud nine and could do anything right now. I will be going back to school eventually and maybe I can really look into psychology some more. Plus, I am eating some absolutely FABULOUS cheesecake right now.
I went to Lake Powell last week with Tammi Tinkle and it was so fun. I now understand why she has the name. She drove my car because I really don't enjoy driving a whole lot. We almost died a few times, but thanks to Tammi's quick actions and cat like reflexes, we were safe. Plus we prayed and that always helps. When you spend that much time alone with someone its interesting to see their true character. ;) Like how people handle high stress situations. It's not like it was much of anything new to me, seeing as I DID live with the girl for awhile. Nevertheless, it's funny when people gain a new vocabulary you didn't realize they used before. haha I don't really have much to say but someone suggested I update my blog. So this is me, updating. Anyone know how to fix a back when its out? My back is killing me!

Wrestling

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THESE PEOPLE?

I only see 2 reasons to ever wrestle with someone. 1.) To prove you are tougher than them 2.) To have a reason for physical contact with someone without being... ya know.

Other than that, I think its ridiculous. Just looks at these guys in their oufits. Who in the right mind that is straight would wear something like that? Also, I have no desire to watch two big sweaty steriod pumped guys throw eachother around and pretend to get hurt so that the little bikini girl can walk around holding up the sign that says ROUND 17 just in case people lose track because heaven knows they can't put it on a screen or scoreboard of some sort. Ok, so maybe I wish I could look like the bikini girl. If I did, I certainly wouldn't be prancing around in high heels and scraps of cloth in front of a large group of blood thirsty heathens. Instead, I would probably go... um... get my nails done? I doubt it. How you can you rock climbing with nails? I Think I'm staring to wander from the subject. Anyway, I thought this picture was a tad bit humorous. Hope they don't mind that I post it. :)

When I go to parties, i like to give people the thumbs up.

but I have to practice. As it is with all things... Well quite frankly I don't want to practice patience with idiotic people who don't know how to listen to the same thing all 8 TIMES! Its one thing if I am not speaking loud enough. Its another if they think they can bully me into saying something else just so they can test, even though I have no control over it. The only nice thing about remaing calm and smiling while they are getting worked up is that it makes them even more angry. ha.

In other news, I have heard some great news from a friend who's been drowning in life and that makes me very happy. Even though all I can do is sit back and watch helplessly from the sideline, I'd like to think cheering (and praying) does make a difference.

Hmm... what else. oh- I'm excited that someone who is a friend of mine (and probably yours) doesn't hate me. Although they probably don't like that I am dating their friend for the simple reason that I tag along with things THEY would like to do, they still talk to me and allow me to go to their house and watch movies. Regardless of the fact that I fall asleep everytime. Its a great place, that house. Always clean. Even the carpet. I should take lessons from this person and try to apply it to my own house. Well- the house that I live in that is. So this was a whole lot of nothin. I was mostly trying to test to see if I can post regular size pictures on here or not. Welp... back to work. Anyone doing anything fun this weekend?

?

dating

How ridiculous is it that if you feel as though you shouldn't date someone anymore, you have to have a REASON for not feeling you should date that person? Ok, so maybe its not too far out there. I usually want to know the reasons why people don't want to date me, but I can usually figure them out, based on the reasons I'VE broken up with people before. Well I have something to say dang it! I have never broken up with someone for the sole reason that I met someone else whom I decided I would rather be with while I was still with the one person. Nor have I ever broken up with someone for someone else's "sweet ride", cash flow, looks, living location, etc. The main reasons I have ever broken up with anyone is primarily because of something feeling wrong about the situation. I don't usually figure out the reasons things were wrong until years later. I'm slow, I know. I get attached to certain people way to easily and believe or not, I want to still be their friend and be supportive of them, but when they go and say nonsense stuff about my motivation for moving on... well well well my friends... thats just no good. Dating is a bit of an annoying thing. I don't WANT to date so that I don't have to deal with heartache when it all ends, yet I don't want to be alone either. Its a bit of a lose - lose situation. Sometimes I wonder if arranged marriages are really that bad of an idea. You can always GROW to love someone if you have to spend the rest of your life and beyond with them, right?

Friends

Have you ever known someone that you think is totally rad but who is dealing with things you have never in your life gone through, making it impossible to know what to do for them? Well, I have a few friends that are dealing with things and I feel terrible because there's really not a lot I can do about it. Life seems to just keep beating them down, despite their efforts to stay afloat. As a friend you try to tell them to just say "Screw you and everyone else that makes things so difficult!?!" but that only solves so much. And really, if you say that to people in higher positions than you at work, I really don't feel that would help with promotions. So ya. I guess you can only do what you can do for them. Its their life. They get to deal with it the way they choose. If they don't want me to beat anyone up, I won't. They all know the offer is out there though. Just for the record, I'm MUCH tougher than I look. Even for people OUTside of my toughness catagory. The picture proves it.

Secrets

I would consider myself a fairly secretive person. The older I've gotten the less I try to hide things. I have been trying to be PROUD of who I am, not ashamed. The more I learn about churchy stuff, the more able I am to put things in perspective. So thats neat-o. Well... I feel this is as good a place as any to share a secret that some may already know. People have asked about the scars on my arms. It is incredibly embarrassing, but looking back, I was simply trying to deal with the circumstances at hand. Many don't know of my upbringing so few would really understand the reasoning behind any of it, but what I'm getting at is well if you go to this website it explains it some. I don't agree with all of it, but some if it is pretty acurate. http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/cutting.html
Anyway, This is not something I enjoy discussing, but I am trying to free myself from secrets until I have nothing to lie or hide from. It just eats at you. Granted, some things really don't need to be shared ever, but most things- well, most things aren't as big as we make them out to be.

Sleeeep

AHhhh... A refreshing new day interrupted by a phone call from the lobby telling me people are waiting to test and the outdoors filled with smoke left over from the St George fires.... LOVE IT! Apparently I turned my alarm off and went back to sleep. I was 30 minutes late. I had leftover make-up on from yesterday, but most of it had come off of one eye, so my eyes were sort of lop-sided looking. I run downstairs and find the candidates waiting outside the door. All of which seemed to be glaring. I apologized and they just stayed silent. Gimmie a break! ok, so it IS my fault and I don't have a good excuse for it. But still, someone could have said SOMETHING... even if it were "Well well well... Look who finally decided to show up? I think we should all get to test for free now". Of course, I would have complained about that too, but look at the name of this blog thingy. Come on. If you don't want to hear complaints, don't read from this blog. EVER. Its as simple as that.
At least today there are only two sessions instead of 3 so I might get done around 5ish... I didn't get to eat until after 7PM yesterday, but by that time I wasn't hungry anyway. So I went to Target to work up an appetite. In the meantime I got a very exciting phone call which made me happy. Its always nice to hear from certain people. Especially when its after 9 so that your minutes are free. heh heh Target sold some wonderfully SOFT tissues with lotion and cough drops that are just superb. They are helping me get through today a little better. Just thought you might like to know. Welp, thats enough for now.