Happy Halloween!

We had a halloween part and it was lots of fun! If you didn't come then you totally missed out. Ok, so it didn't get SUPER fun until everybody joined in a riatous round of darts. Then it was fun to make fun of how bad we all suck at the game. Except for a select few.. like me.. It's a good thing Brian doesn't mind all the holes in the wall surrounding the dart board. We are lucky it wasn't Brandon's house. I'm surprised his house didn't get more destroyed with how often we hung out there. I miss his house. and everyones company. It was fun sitting around after midnight being too tired to do much of anything but not tired enough to kick people out. I had missed staying up listening to Elisabeth and others make fun of people they work with and what not because then you get somewhat of an idea of what goes on their secretive lives.
I realized something today. I haven't thought about suicide for a few years now! I thought it was normal and that everyone did and that everyone thought out ways of going through with it. Then I talked to my sister about it because I was wondering what ways she had thought about doing that to herself. She looked at me like I was crazy. I bet she doesn't even remember. It was a long time ago. After that I never told anyone else about my weird thoughts and feelings. Who knew it was all just a weird chemical imbalance in my brain! Is that even spelled right? The point to all this is that I am happier than ever and even on down days I don't even consider death. I never planned on going through with it, it was just something I would think about back in the day. Why am I writing about this?

1 Year Baby!

My first wedding anniversary is coming up. What the heck are you supposed to get for a guy for a romantical kind of a day? And what are you supposed to do? (besides that)
I suggested we go to Lagoon or the circus, but maybe that's not the sort of thing you're supposed to do for your very first anniversary. If you have any suggestions, please help. It is this weekend.

I feel like this lovely toad

My Jaw hurts. I have cramps. I'm tired. I get to go to another dentist in the morning. WooHoo! Life is good otherwise. Any suggestions for bloating? It IS a real thing right? Sometimes I wonder if I am using "bloating" as an excuse for not being able to fit into my clothes anymore but I guess if you bloat, it's not a 24-7 sort of a thing. but I think this time I really am.

Celebrity Duets

I had a dream a few weeks ago. It was awesome. Travis, Elisabeth, Dave, Brandon and Sara were all in it. I can't remember it all that well anymore. I just remember being impressed when Travis came out on the stage and sang a solo. He was SO good! We were all cheering. Elisabeth and I did some dance on the stage with a bunch of other people but I didn't know what I was doing. Then it was my turn to sing and I didn't even know I was going to be singing. So I go up in front of this huge crowd and smy DREAMS won't even let me sing well! It was awful and I was so embarrassed. Then everyone was leaving and I wanted to go to Elisabeth's house but she moved to St George. I was sad and decided to try to go anyway. It was like a blizzard outside and my car was sliding everywhere and I was bumping into other cars and stuff and then my car turned into a little thing, like a go cart. So I was exposed to the snow and trying to push it along the road! I don't think I ever made it to her house. I was sad when I woke up. Weird, huh? Anybody know what THAT kind of dream would mean?

TODAY

I went to work today. There were tons of technical difficulties this morning. I left work at 2:30pm. Went grocery shopping with my sister in law and her baby. We once again realized we are both sort of air-heads. I think it only happens when we are together though. Separated, we are fine. Together? Not so good. Then I came home. actually I cruised by my husbands work site to see if I could get a glimpe of him, but alas, it was to no avail. I feel like a stalker when I do that but its ok if you are married to the person, right? My oldest sister used to drive my her x-bf's houses. I was with her once or twice. Thats totally weird. but not to your own spouse, right? Anyway, we got some movies I am excited to see. Poisiden, a dancing one, and a violent one. I don't remember the names. heh. Oh, the Sentinel. ya. Woo! So thats my excitement for the day. I will report again when something equally exciting happens.

Dentists

I am going to have a root canal done and I just can't wait! I love having drills and strange instruments enter my mouth while I blindly sit back and gag on my own spit and other strange particles and liquids. Then I get to leave the wonderful office broke and drooling while the side of my face droops and my tounge takes on its own life. *sigh* what could be better? Ohh I know. Going back for the next appointment! yippeee!

BABIES

I am with Tammy Tinkle while she is watching a sweet little bundle of poop. Right when I think that I might want to have kids, I deal with an 18 month old cranky little boy. ARG... Plus I have to read about how painful it is in Glamour Magazine. Reliable source I know. The pain measurement was right up there with getting genital warts removed. SICK. I know you all wanted to know that. heh heh. Perhaps someday I will experience the strange feeling of something growing inside my gut other than air pockets and such. It will most likely have to be accidental though. And don't even tell me you think a fetus is cute. Amazing, perhaps, weird, definetly, but cute? no.

Turbo Jam

This is the girl that does turbo jam. She has her own blog. weird, huh? Its weird to think of people on work out videos as real people I guess. http://chalenejohnson.blogspot.com/

The only problem is that we have TV in the bedroom and there's not enough room to work out in the bedroom and so if anyone has room in their home to do this with me, well then.... you should let me. :) Who wouldn't want to look like her?! Seriously. It's a fun video.

HAPpy... hapPY...

I need to be more positive. I enjoy being married. In fact, I've never been happier in my life. So whats my problem? I appreciate the advice I got from my last entry. I think I will have to use a little money on some of those things even if it's not something you can invest in to profit from later. I can profit from things in different ways than making money off things. So yes, I think I will have to talk to my husband (that word is still weird sometimes) about some things that I would like to purchase. We'll see how it goes.
So... Anyone want to do Turbo Jam with me? Its a lot fun but I have a better chance of doing that when someone else does it with me. :)

married life

Things have seemed to change now that I am married. I went to Dave's birthday party and it was the first time I saw some of my friends for awhile. It almost felt akward. It's like people don't want to have anything to do with you if you are not single anymore. I don't know why. SOMEone even said they didn't bother transfering my phone number into their new phone is because I'm not worth calling anymore. Thats when I say, "oh ya?! well screw YOU!" ok so I didn't really say that this time, but I should have. I've been so angry lately but I can't figure out why. I think part of it has to do with money. I hate not being able to just go do stuff that I want to do. Plus I don't excercise anymore. I miss dancing and rock climbing. Those were some of my absolute favorite things to do, but now thats over. I don't see how I will ever go back to school again. Any money we get will go towards buying a new house to fix up and sell to make more money, but by that time we will probably have kids that will be sucking up any money and then I REALLY won't ever have my own life again. AHHH!!! Is it wrong to be so selfish to not want kids so that you can progress in life?? Once I have kids I'm afraid my life will be pretty much done. Then I will just be a mom. I know mom's are important obviously, but they never have their own life back again. They never get to enjoy their own hobbies or interests unless it invloves changing diapers and diciplining bad children. I've gotta stop I'm getting depressed just thinking about it.

Oooh la la

I just had my second bridal shower. heh. It was fun. Although I must say I was shocked to see what my prior Relief Society President got me. heavens heavens.... and My good friend She-Ra threw the party and did an absolutely fabulous job. It was so fun. I got to see them make a groom out of gum. It was great. Kind of sick- but great. Especially when mantis (not the tiller) tried to clap her hands. good times good times....

What was THAT?

I've been reading everyone's blogs today and they are really deep and moving and I am here writing about public bathrooms. Well, thats me for ya. What can I say?
Last night I did something to someone that TOTALLY grossed them out. Their reaction was SO funny. I justified doing it because its nothing compared to what they said they are going to do to me once we're married. Ever heard of 'Dutch Oven'? Its sick, but apparently its an Allred tradition. Don't ask me, I didn't know this before I said yes. If you've never heard of it, its wear you trap someones head under the sheets and then fart. SICK. So I was sitting on someones lap while we were looking up stuff on the computer and I stop what I'm doing, look at him, and say "hey so-&-so" and then I guess I had a weird look on my face because I was concentrating and he's just staring at me wondering what I am doing and then I fart on him. HAHAHAHA!!!! He said he felt like his leg was violated. He's lucky it was only a little one that doesn't even smell. He wouldn't come near me for the rest of the night. It was so funny. He thought I would be embarrassed if he told people. Is something wrong with me for not caring and being so vile? I understand its not lady-like, but niether are a lot of things I do unfortunately. My mom would be so ashamed..... (but my dad would be proud haha )

ADDRESSES

ok... here's the deal. If you want an invitation to my wedding, I need your address. I am trying to figure out exactly how many as well. If I don't have your name on my list, tell me to put it on! perhaps I will post who I have thought of thus far on my next one. so... call me or e-mail me pronto. thanks!

thanks JRA for sending me yours. seeing as no one else feels the need ;)

Privacy

I've been reading other peoples blogs and it sounds like there are quite a few of you who are opening up all of a sudden and I think that is fabulous! This is the first time in my life I have been open and honest with everyone I know basically and I have never been more happy. Its weird how it works. For instance, in the past, I would only tell people what I thought they wanted to hear so they would like me (guy or girl) but that really begins to get exhausting. Plus no one ever gets to know the real you, so you never really know if someone actually likes you because you are not BEING you. hm. That was a lot of "you"s. Anyway, contrary to popular belief, I do not enjoy hurting people. I would choose being hurt physically over being hurt emotionally any day. Apparently I have hurt some people in my day emotionally and it would KILL me in the past. I had to go through conseling at one point because I couldn't figure out how to be happy while making someone else happy. Eventually I started putting myself first. Some see this as being selfish but I see it more as being responsible. I am more aware of how I truly feel about things and I don't second guess myself nearly as much. I have more confidence because I have been honest with myself and others. So at this rate, if I tried my best to explain situations and people still decide to hate me or whatever, then yes- I am sad, but not enough to let it destroy me. I read someone else's blog and someone commented about me being a bitch. Heh. ya. It made me laugh. Gossip is a very entertaining thing. People hear half truths and make up the rest in their head or decide thats all there is to the story and then ASSUME its the truth. everyone knows what happens when you assume... This is getting long and boring and staying too serious. Just wanted to thank others for opening up more, and that I would truly appreciate it if they would still talk to me even though I am getting married. I didn't DIE! I am completely out of the loop of whats going on with people and I can't do anything about it (besides call off the engagement, but then I would not be putting myself first) and being the selfish person that I am, I decided its OK to be happy despite what other people are going through. And thats its ok to be sad with them but not to make it be your complete problem as well.

public bathrooms

Sooo... I don't know if they do this in the boys bathroom or just the girls.

anyway, I don't understand why the bathroom floor is wet in the stalls, and not by the sinks so much. I tell myself its from the janitors mopping and it just takes longer to dry in that area, but if thats the case, how is there still TP on the floor mixed in with the wet muddy mess? It was gross. If its NOT water, then obviously its another form of liquid, but then another question arises. How do girls miss?! You sit-n-go. Simple as that. No special skill required. Most even come with toilet seat cover things so you don't have to meet the germs of the last person's bum. I guess thats all. Just wondering if anyone knew what that was all about. the wet floors.

hooray

It sounds like everyone knows my reason for being so happy. :) I am getting married in the Manti temple September 30. It was going to be November, but we figured why wait? Everything seems to be falling in place quite well now. I've never been so happy that its made me cry before. I certainly have cried for other reasons, but this is different then anything I've ever felt. Kinda weird. A few of our mutual friends are not happy at all for us so thats sad, but I am happy to have the support of the rest of you. If you read this and want an invitation, it would be absolutely delightful if you could e-mail me your address. Its spazgirl24@hotmail.com

happy happy joy joy

Things right now seem to be going SO well I can hardly believe it. I almost feel guilty for being so happy because there are many people I know who are far from feeling happy. I feel like I'm on cloud nine and could do anything right now. I will be going back to school eventually and maybe I can really look into psychology some more. Plus, I am eating some absolutely FABULOUS cheesecake right now.
I went to Lake Powell last week with Tammi Tinkle and it was so fun. I now understand why she has the name. She drove my car because I really don't enjoy driving a whole lot. We almost died a few times, but thanks to Tammi's quick actions and cat like reflexes, we were safe. Plus we prayed and that always helps. When you spend that much time alone with someone its interesting to see their true character. ;) Like how people handle high stress situations. It's not like it was much of anything new to me, seeing as I DID live with the girl for awhile. Nevertheless, it's funny when people gain a new vocabulary you didn't realize they used before. haha I don't really have much to say but someone suggested I update my blog. So this is me, updating. Anyone know how to fix a back when its out? My back is killing me!

Wrestling

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THESE PEOPLE?

I only see 2 reasons to ever wrestle with someone. 1.) To prove you are tougher than them 2.) To have a reason for physical contact with someone without being... ya know.

Other than that, I think its ridiculous. Just looks at these guys in their oufits. Who in the right mind that is straight would wear something like that? Also, I have no desire to watch two big sweaty steriod pumped guys throw eachother around and pretend to get hurt so that the little bikini girl can walk around holding up the sign that says ROUND 17 just in case people lose track because heaven knows they can't put it on a screen or scoreboard of some sort. Ok, so maybe I wish I could look like the bikini girl. If I did, I certainly wouldn't be prancing around in high heels and scraps of cloth in front of a large group of blood thirsty heathens. Instead, I would probably go... um... get my nails done? I doubt it. How you can you rock climbing with nails? I Think I'm staring to wander from the subject. Anyway, I thought this picture was a tad bit humorous. Hope they don't mind that I post it. :)

When I go to parties, i like to give people the thumbs up.

but I have to practice. As it is with all things... Well quite frankly I don't want to practice patience with idiotic people who don't know how to listen to the same thing all 8 TIMES! Its one thing if I am not speaking loud enough. Its another if they think they can bully me into saying something else just so they can test, even though I have no control over it. The only nice thing about remaing calm and smiling while they are getting worked up is that it makes them even more angry. ha.

In other news, I have heard some great news from a friend who's been drowning in life and that makes me very happy. Even though all I can do is sit back and watch helplessly from the sideline, I'd like to think cheering (and praying) does make a difference.

Hmm... what else. oh- I'm excited that someone who is a friend of mine (and probably yours) doesn't hate me. Although they probably don't like that I am dating their friend for the simple reason that I tag along with things THEY would like to do, they still talk to me and allow me to go to their house and watch movies. Regardless of the fact that I fall asleep everytime. Its a great place, that house. Always clean. Even the carpet. I should take lessons from this person and try to apply it to my own house. Well- the house that I live in that is. So this was a whole lot of nothin. I was mostly trying to test to see if I can post regular size pictures on here or not. Welp... back to work. Anyone doing anything fun this weekend?

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